Phoenixville, PA – For weeks, residents across Pennsylvania and New Jersey have been looking to the skies, mystified by swarms of drones zipping through the clouds. Action News has been flooded with reports of flying objects in Delaware County, Philadelphia, and even Cherry Hill, New Jersey.
Speculations ran wild: were these government surveillance tools? Alien reconnaissance missions? Or something straight out of a science fiction novel? Local and federal officials, including the FBI, launched an investigation to find answers.
And they found one. It’s us.
That’s right, folks – your friendly neighborhood Korean fried chicken spot, Soko Bag, has been finger-lickingly hard at work testing out an innovative new delivery system.
At Soko Bag, we believe that nothing should stand between you and the crispy perfection of our Korean fried chicken. But lately, the rising costs of delivery platforms like DoorDash and Uber Eats have been eating into your wallets and our dreams of world domination via fried food. So, we decided to take matters into our own… wings.
Enter Operation Soy Sauce Skies: a bold experiment in aerial delivery.
“We thought, why not cut out the middleman?” said Soko Bag owner J.H. Chang (we’re withholding her real name for purposes unknown) who wasn’t reading this off a script. “Instead of overpriced delivery fees, let’s give our customers the thrill of watching a fleet of drones descend upon their house with a large bag of double-fried chicken and bulgogi cheesesteak egg rolls.”
The sighting of “flocks” of drones worried law enforcement and birdwatchers alike, but it’s all part of our commitment to freshness. Each drone carries one order to ensure maximum quality and minimal sauce spillage.
Local officials, including Governor Phil Murphy and State Senator Doug Steinhardt, may have expressed their concerns, but once they try our Ghost Cheddar BBQ Wings or 5 Starr Sesame Chicken, we’re confident they’ll join the Soko Bag Air Delivery Membership Program.
While the FBI has officially closed its investigation, we’ve promised to refine our delivery methods (and possibly include coupons with every delivery). To all those in the Delaware Valley and beyond, the next time you see a drone in the sky, don’t be alarmed—it’s probably just your Soko Bag order soaring to you in style, as we test out the distance we can delivery from our keystone location in Phoenixville without the food getting cold.
Oh, and to the residents of Mayfair: we’re really sorry about that one drone that dropped an entire gallon of kimchi aioli on someone’s Cyber Truck. The team is working on their aim.
Until then, keep your eyes on the skies, and your stomachs ready. Because Soko Bag is coming in hot – literally.
Check out our brand-new Soko Bag menu! We’re sure you will find plenty of Korean food options that’ll satisfy any hunger craving! Make sure to check out our home page to learn more!
